Timothy “iiTzTimmy” An announced his return to competitive Apex Legends on Wednesday after spending more than a year away from the esports scene.
In a TwitLonger, the player disclosed that he struggled with depression during that period and did not feel confident with his performance. He also said he grew uncomfortable with the constant comparison with other players and people doubting his abilities as an in-game leader and a pro player.
iiTzTimmy has been a part of competitive Apex for years, playing alongside his streamer dream squad, Team SHEEEEEEESH. He participated in the ALGS Pro League last year with former NRG streamer Anthony “Apryze” Andrade and 100 Thieves streamer Jack “NiceWigg” Martin.
Prior to his time with Team SHEEEEEEESH, iiTzTimmy played with Golden Guardians. He made a name during his stint with the team before becoming even more famous as a content creator with several thousand views per stream.
iiTzTimmy mentioned his time on Golden Guardians, saying that his inexperience caused his team to perform poorly and made him more involved in streaming.
“I had no experience in Battle Royales or competition, so what else would you expect from a player like me and from teammates with similar experiences? Bad results and constant ‘griefing’ ^-^. Either way I learned a lot and quit competing to pursue full time streaming, but I didn’t give up on competing though,” the player wrote.
iiTzTimmy revealed that he did not expect Team SHEEEEEEESH to perform as well as they did, as the group was created for fun. He claimed that despite reaching the top five in all ALGS and GLL qualifiers, the team had never practiced or scrimmed beforehand.
Although the team was created without any serious intent, iiTzTimmy said he and his teammates received much criticism from fans and viewers for failing to qualify for tournaments or not playing as well as expected.
“It negatively impacted my mental health as someone who wasn’t trying to make competing my ‘everything’ and do it for fun. I think this ruined competing for me. Whether it was because I received negative feedback from the community or whether it was because I was going through depression, I was unhappy,” he wrote.
The team members eventually split up to pursue their respective careers in steaming. iiTzTimmy explained that although his depression was “at an all-time low”, the decision to leave was due to several reasons and was ultimately agreed on by his teammates.
iiTzTimmy concluded his post by discussing the present and how he was now in a good place to start competing again. He promised to give it everything he had this time around but retain his streaming career.
The player intends to form a team with former eUnited pro Lyric Quinonez and announced that they were in the market for a controller player who can function as an IGL. They plan to compete on the ALGS Challenger Circuit in Split 2.